Have you noticed that there’s still quite a few menopausal symptoms that aren’t talked about very much? Even now. I was ready for the sweats (hot and cold), the fatigue, the aches and pains and general dryness but I seriously only realised recently that as our hormones drop our anxiety can surge hugely during these years.
Then there’s confidence. Our body image takes a battering. We feel uneasy, get tearful, can’t cope with things we were fine with before. We worry endlessly. There’s a sense of doom. Our sense of self and place in the world feels rocky and all this can lead to an almighty crash in confidence.
My friend Sue suffered a fitness crisis; she could cope at work and continued to keep all the plates spinning at home but she became acutely aware of her body image when working out. She felt old, an imposter. She turned up for a 10K race and actually got straight back in her car and drove home without even lining up at the start. “I constantly had this skewed idea that I was about to make an almighty fool of myself” she told me, “I couldn’t bear the (imagined) humiliation to come.”
We all get nervous before an event of any kind, especially a so-called competitive one. But if you’re getting crippled by nerves and dread and frozen into inaction then maybe it’s time to address it.
Sue eventually had a few therapy sessions and one very interesting thing came of it; she discovered the power of visualisation to create vivid images in her mind of what she wanted to happen (rather than what she was dreading) and when some of these images actually became reality she experienced a massive boost to her confidence; she was in control again.
Visualisation is not for everybody but I love it and if you’ve never tried it I’d urge you to give it a go. It’s by far from the only way to address confidence issues but it works incredibly well for some people.
Visualisation is basically using the power of your imagination to create an image or images. Imagination is one of our most creative mind powers.
By vividly picturing what you want to happen – you make it more likely to happen.
Visualising your goals accomplishes some very important things. It sends a message to your subconscious mind which is like a big memory bank, keeping records of anything that’s ever happened to you. When you give your subconscious mind a nudge by visualising vivid images, it starts to flip through its resources and come up with ideas to help you achieve your goal. You won’t realise any of this is happening – but you’ll know it is when you suddenly start to generate some really good ideas!
By priming your subconscious mind in this way you’ll more easily recognise resources to help you on the path to your goal. For example, when I spend time visualising images connected to my goal of running an ultra, I find I’m much more alert to any articles, websites or events linked to all things running.
A very simple way to test this is to visualise-say-a red car. Then go about your day and notice just how many red cars you spot!
Everyone can visualise. It’s actually quite simple once you get the hang of it. Before you begin, it’s important to find somewhere you can relax so find a quiet spot where nobody will bother you.
If you would like to experience it for yourself then try this short exercise now:
Sit comfortably or lie down if you prefer.
Take a few deep breaths. Now close your eyes and breathe normally. Listen to the sound of your breath coming in and going out.
From now on, you don’t need to perform the movements – you’ll simply be using your imagination.
Imagine you have a TV set in front of you. Switch on the TV and when you do I’d like you to see a white screen.
Using your left or right hand and write your name on the screen in black.
Now change the colour of the screen to any colour of your choice. Change the colour of your name. Make the colours as bright as possible.
You are now going to turn up the TV volume. When you turn up the volume you will hear your favourite music or song. Turn up the music so you can hear it clearly.
Now let the music and the screen disappear and switch off your TV.
When you’re ready open your eyes again.
You’ve just experienced visualisation.
The goal is to make the image as vivid as possible, so you feel like you’re actually doing it. You’ll see results much quicker when you create clear mental pictures of what you want, rather than just vaguely thinking about it. It’s more focussed than just closing your eyes and daydreaming.
Visualisation is most effective when combined with your senses and emotions.
Before you begin, it helps to write your goal at the top of a piece of paper then jot down some ideas for your visualisation practice that you could include to support that goal.
My page looks like this:
Goal: Run an ultra
My visualisation:
See myself running strong at different stages of the race
Feel the medal being placed around my neck
Hear rings of ‘Congratulations!’
Taste … the champagne!
Smell the distinctive aroma of muddy fields and grass.
In addition to writing down visualisation ideas linked to your goal, also write down the emotions you would feel if you had already achieved it.
How to use your senses with your visualisation
Let’s say you want to visualise an evening at a rock concert. Create the image of the stadium itself, the people around you, the band on stage. Then bring in all your senses: how the air smells, the feel of the crowd milling around you, the taste of your hot dog, the throbbing sound of the music.
Visualising this concert makes it possible for you to get closer to feeling like you were really there.
How to add emotion to your visualisation
To get the very best results during your visualisation sessions, you must generate the same feelings and emotions that you would have if you had already accomplished your goal.
Emotions add passion and desire to your thoughts so they make a greater impression on your mind.
The key is to generate positive and happy feelings of success and happiness, and to associate them with your goal.
Ask yourself – “How would I feel if I achieved X?” Some examples are joy, pride, happiness, love and exhilaration.
Some people do struggle with this step. If you find it difficult to add emotion to your visualisations, here’s what to do:
Association
All of us have experienced at least some sort of success or happiness in our life, however small. Think back to one of those times. It could be the birth of a child, a career success or the best holiday you ever had.
Relive the event in your imagination until you start to feel the positive feelings you experienced at the time. While you’re feeling the buzz of these emotions, start visualising your current goal. You can do this every time you visualise to make sure you associate positive emotions with your goal.
Some people like to add a physical component to this. For example, during the first few times you are experiencing the strong emotions from a happy past event, try pressing your thumb and forefinger together. Do this each time. Eventually, you will be able to drum up emotion simply by pressing those fingers together without having to bring up the memory of the past event in your mind.
Music
Music can stimulate strong emotions within us. Often, we listen to music in order to experience those emotions.
Different types of music arouses different emotions. You can easily see this effect by watching a few movie scenes with and without the sound on. You’ll soon see how background music can stimulate fear, happiness, excitement, sadness etc
When I’m trying to get into the mood for a run I listen to loud, fast paced rock music which invigorates and motivates me. I love ‘Go West’ by the Pet Shop Boys and ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ by Queen. Sometimes, though, I find that a gentle jog is best accompanied by soothing classical music.
If I plan to use music when I visualise, I’ll choose a song that makes me feel happy. I have a long list including songs from across the decades such as ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams, ‘I’m into Something Good’ by Herman’s Hermits and ‘You To Me Are Everything’ by The Real Thing.
For your own visualization, take note of the way you feel when listening to certain songs. Find a piece of music with which you have positive associations in your mind and which gives you a ‘happy buzz’. Play it in the background as you visualise.
Charging your thoughts with emotional energy can accomplish wonders for you. You are going to feel excited and be energised and buzzing with the incredible feeling that you really can achieve your goal.
Don’t lose heart if your first few visualisations don’t seem to be very successful – it takes practice to choose the right images and sensations and time for you to get used to the whole idea.
The more effort you put into visualising a successful outcome, depicting with crystal clarity what you want to happen, the more your feelings of confidence will increase. Try it first in one area of your life until you’ve got the hang of it then keep going. Eventually your overall confidence will start to creep back. BOOM.
