I doubt anyone has avoided a spike in stress levels during these first few months of 2020. We’ve been drowning in a sea of negative news, public panic and a overall feeling of helplessness.
Many of us will experience low mood and feel anxious and worried. This is perfectly natural.
In this post I want to share three ways which work for me in dealing with these feelings. This is only my experience and not to be replaced with taking medical advice.
I love running. I’ve talked in a previous post about how I use it to control my anxiety. Running is my calming device… I’m not fast and will never be front of the pack; I’ve always found it tough but over the last few years or so have noticed how much the onset of the menopause has made things even harder. For me the biggest symptoms have been dryness (so LOTS of itching and chafing), crushing fatigue and-the one that really floored me-the ramping up of my anxiety. This for me means an intense feeling of dread plus a tightly clamped up chest and feeling as if I’m struggling to breathe.
As menopause kicked in, for twenty four hours a day I walked around with a vice-like tightness in my chest, a thumping heart and a conviction that there was a hand clamped around my throat. I knew what it was, I’d been managing it for years and it had gone on for so long I accepted it as my new norm. One day a couple of years ago (I was 56) I was in the mall and had a panic attack. This was new. Everything began to spin and getting any air into my lungs felt impossible. I sat down, knowing I had to control the panic. I remembered something one of my daughters had said:
“Mum, if you ever feel panicked, focus on something you can see, something you can hear and something you can smell”.
The first thing I was aware of was the waft of donuts from the Krispy Creme stall nearby… then I focused on listening and could hear a sales lady nearby giving a talk about vitamins. I concentrated hard on her every word. She must have thought I was going to buy the lot! I sat and watched a baby eating…anything to take the focus off me. Slowly, my breathing and heart rate returned to normal…
I left the mall exhausted and called the doc. Twenty minutes later I was in her office. She was appalled when she asked if I ever experienced chest and throat tightness and I said “All the time. Why? Doesn’t everyone..?”
And this is when I learned that anxiety and panic attacks are incredibly common during the menopause. I thought I knew EVERYTHING there was to know about the menopause yet I HAD NO IDEA!!
She prescribed an anti anxiety medication (Citalopram) and it’s been such a relief. Whoever was crushing my throat and chest has finally let go 😓 And I can sleep! (Mostly).
So What Else Works For Me?
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
The “5-4-3-2-1” tool is an extension of the technique mentioned above that my daughter introduced me to and is a simple yet effective method for regaining control of your mind when anxiety threatens to take over. A grounding technique is a coping skill that is used to keep you ‘grounded’ in the present. It works by taking your focus off your anxious feelings and encouraging you to focus on your surroundings instead.
The 5-4-3-2-1 helps to bring you back to the present by relying on your five senses – sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste.
- Look around and identify five things you can see. A window, a car, anything!
- Next, identify four things you can hear. Birdsong, traffic, people talking…
- Now three things you can feel – which can be anything from your feet on the ground to a breeze on your arms
- Then two things you can smell. Coffee, toast, the sea..
- And finally, one thing you can taste – this one can be the most difficult as it’s likely that your mouth will have gone very dry. I sometimes pass on this one.
4-7-8 breathing
The 4-7-8 method is based on Pranayama, an ancient Indian practice and roughly translates to ‘regulation of breath’.
Basically, it involves breathing in deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds then exhaling through your mouth for 8 seconds. It takes some practice and some getting used to but it definitely gets me to the edge of sleep and – often – I actually do fall asleep. I’ve modified it slightly as you’re supposed to place the tip of your tongue just behind your upper teeth and push the air out forcibly with a WHOOSH. Which is all well and good if you’re sleeping alone but the first time I did it my husband bolted upright with a start. ‘What?? What’s happening?!’
Beat Panic App
The Beat Panic app is designed to guide you through raised anxiety or a panic attack via a series of flash cards in soothing colours with accompanying text. It is a paid app but is not expensive at just 99p.
The app…
… gives you something to focus on instead of what’s going on in your body.
… helps to slow your breathing, reduce heart rate and release tension.
(Note that grounding is not about making the emotion go away or detaching from your experience; it is about tolerating the experience and emotions while staying present in your body. It is important to discuss these experiences with a therapist or qualified mental health professional, especially if you are noticing frequent panic attacks, flashbacks, or dissociation).
